I know what you’re thinking. Who in the world is Mark Holton? Well you might not know him by name, but you have definitely seen several movies that he was in. Stop me when I mention something you haven’t seen. Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too? Check and check. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure? Check. The Naked Gun? Check. Little Giants? Check. A League of Their Own? Check. Hijacking Hollywood? Che….ehhhhh, no. Time to stop. Let’s face it, no one has ever seen Hijacking Hollywood, not even Mark Holton. The point is that you don’t have to be a household name to make quality movies or just be awesome. Here at The Underappreciated Celebrities Blog, we don’t just talk about celebrities who are hated, or don’t get the props they deserve for being awesome. Sometimes, unknown celebrities need to be discussed to open the world’s eyes to how awesome they. Mark Holton is one of these celebrities. Besides his aforementioned body of work, his roles in these movies, the acting chops he puts on display in his films, and most importantly, the classic, quotable lines he is responsible for, Mark Holton maybe one of the most underappreciated awesome celebrities in show business. Don’t hate him for being awesome.
If you’re not a fan of both Teen Wolf movies, no offense, but you need to take some awesome lessons. Seriously, not since Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, have a movie and its sequel taken the world by storm. Ok, maybe I’m reaching just a bit, but they basically are a surprisingly, awesome and underappreciated set of films. You know the premise; awkward average teenager turns into a werewolf and becomes a superstar athlete and campus hotshot. At first he loves the attention, and then he struggles with it, and then he realizes he needs to just be himself. Once he comes to that epiphany, then he really becomes a true winner. Mark Holton realized that these movies were so great that he knew he had to be both of them. It would have been career suicide not to be in the sequel. Mark played the loveable, affable sidekick Chubbs in both movies. Chubbs has a profound impact on both cult classics, by helping his friend understand that he should be himself. Seriously, who doesn’t love a guy nicknamed Chubbs? That’s a friend that I want to have. That’s a guy who is awesome and is not afraid to accept himself for who he is. Don’t believe me? Let me tell you a story about Chubby’s awesomeness. In the first movie, Chubb’s high school basketball team is in the middle of the state championship. Mick, the main antagonist and star of the rival team, yells at Chubbs who is just holding the ball at center court, “Shoot it fat boy!” Angry, motivated, and inspired, Chubbs heaves the ball up and swishes a three point show. Now not only is “Shoot it fat boy!” a great quote that can be frequently repeated, while never getting old, it serves the purpose of displaying what happens when you anger a character played by Mark Holton; his awesomeness will make you pay.
Chubby isn’t just a fat slob, either. He’s no slouch in the sports world. Besides being the starting center on his high school basketball team, who do go on to win the state championship, he also rules the heavyweight division for his college’s boxing team. Yes in Teen Wolf Too Chubby has moved on to college and is one of the better fighters on the team. He possesses quick feet, an explosive left hand, and a powerful right. In the two fights in the movie he wins both times by a first round knockout. Now seriously, they could have just cast any random hefer to play the role of a guy named Chubbs. However, the producers of the Teen Wolf movies knew they had to hire an actor who not only was a believable enough to play a multi-sport star athlete, but one who was as tough as nails and had a heart of gold. No one could have done this better than Mark Holton, and if you doubt me, just tell him to “Shoot it fat boy,” and watch him rock your world with how awesome he can be.
InPee-wee’s Big Adventure, Holton’s plays the “bad guy” Francis Buxton. We loved him in Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too, but we hated him in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. This show’s a different side of Holton than we saw in the Teen Wolf series, yet Holton still does an awesome job of portraying a character exactly how he is supposed to be portrayed. You know that somebody is a good actor when they can portray totally different types of characters so well, and Holton does this to perfection. He plays Buxton, who may be a grown man, but all he really is, is a spoiled, rich brat. He plays Pee-wee’s neighbor and desperately wants Pee-wee’s beautiful bike for his birthday. Francis tells us “Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.” Pee-wee obviously won’t give it to him, so Francis pays someone to steal the bike for him. Of course, as soon as he has the bike, he doesn’t want it anymore. Again, Holton is responsible for one of the most quotable lines in movie history. As Pee-wee and Francis verbally spar over the bike, (Side note: You can watch it on YouTube here.) Pee-wee angrily tells him, “It’s not for sale FRAN-CIS.” You can say this line in any scenario involving money, and those come up only like 10, 20 million times a week. This quote is so awesome, that you can probably even use it in situations not involving money. Would it be as awesome if it was said to any other actor? Not at all, due to the fact that Holton is so great at playing Pee-wee’s villain. He was the perfect actor to cast against Pee-wee, because they needed someone to be evil, but not scary evil, or even bad evil. He needed to be evil, but also juvenile enough to be Pee-wee’s foil, and Holton is perfect for this. Think about it, who is Pee-wee Herman? He is a nice, goofy, silly man-child that still plays with toys. Who is Francis Buxton? He is an evil, goofy, silly man-child that still plays with toys. They are so similar, yet so different. Balboa vs. Creed, Schwarzenegger vs. Predator, nothing compares to Pee-wee vs. Buxton.
Mark didn’t have as big of a role in the movie The Naked Gun or A League of Their Own as he did in other movies, but he was still awesomely legendary in both of them. He was so awesome, in The Naked Gun that his character’s name was his line in the movie. “Hey it’s Enrico Pallazzo!” he shouts from the stands at a baseball game. As soon as Holton’s character says this, the crowd roars in applause. Maybe it was because they were excited to see Leslie Nielson as the umpire of the game and the singer of the national anthem, but maybe; just maybe, it was also due to the fact that Mark Holton is so awesome that he has that much of an impact on a crowd when he speaks. Also, he appears in only one scene in A League of Their Own , but again that doesn’t lessen his impact in the movie. His plays the grown-up version of Stillwell, the once bratty kid of one of the girls on the baseball team the movie is about. He runs into Geena Davis’ character at the Baseball Hall of Fame, and briefly catches up with her. Davis’ character gets teary-eyed when Stillwell tells him his mother has passed away. This can be attributed to the fact that Holton has underappreciated action skills, because he can be the funny guy, the evil guy, and apparently the serious guy as well, which takes a lot of acting talent to pull off. For Holton to display his serious side in A League of Their Own that’s about as big of an impression that you can possibly have in such a short amount of screen time. Therefore, it’s safe to say that whether Holton is playing a main, supporting, or minor character, he is awesome enough to have an effect any movie and role he is in.
While Mark Holton, maybe the first unknown actor in this blog, he won’t be the last. He is the type of unknown celebrity who sets the standard for what it means to be underappreciated. In terms of film, he starred in several cult classics, was responsible for some great quotes, and is extremely versatile in terms of the role he plays. Like I said in the beginning of this post, you might not know him by name, but I am hoping that you do now and you remember who he is. After all, that’s the point of this blog; to make you realize the awesomeness of certain underappreciated celebrities. If that celebrity doesn’t happen to be a house-hold name, he or she should become one due to his or her awesomeness. If this doesn’t define Holton, I don’t know what does. However, what I do know is that his awesomeness should be appreciated by the world. The next time you can, tell someone “Shoot it fat boy!”, “It’s not for sale FRAN-CIS,” or “Hey it’s Enrico Pallazzo!” and people will laugh, giving Mark Holton the appreciation for his awesomeness that he rightfully deserves.
