Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Jesse Palmer


Before I get started, let's just make one thing clear. If you think that I mean Jesse Palmer was underappreciated for his awesomeness as an NFL quarterback for the New York Giants and San Francisco 49ers, I can assure you that's not the case. Truth be told, he was your average NFL backup quarterback. In fact, you can even make the argument he was a below average backup quarterback. In his career, he threw three touchdowns, four interceptions and had a quarterback rating of 59.8. I don't think you need to be a sports fan to realize that's not very good. However, his sports career managed to lead Jesse to his true calling. You see, Jesse happens to be a good looking guy and is a natural in front of a camera, so his awesomeness must have told him that he can rely on those two traits to get involved in television. Therefore, once his football career was over it didn't mean he was going to fade into obscurity. In fact, Jesse was smart enough to get a jump start on getting involved in television when he was still playing football when he decided to be the hunk 25 women purse on the reality show The Bachelor. This brings me to the Jesse Palmer who is underappreciated for his awesomeness; the actor, tv football analyst, and sex symbol.


Jesse Palmer, an actor? You're telling me you didn't see the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 2005 episode titled "Design" where Jesse played third baseman Don Lacey? You are missing quite the awesome performance then. Even if the underappreciated awesome Nicolas Cage would be proud of Jesse's awesomeness, especially because it's almost like Cage tutored Jesse on how to act. In the episode, a women claims to have been raped and impregnated by a wealthy scientist. However as the episode progresses, we learn that she in fact druged and raped several rich, famous, and good-looking men to try and get her pregnant so she can extort them. Jesse was one of these men who was taken advantage of. The four scenes he was in were brief; he was probably in the episode for less than three minutes. However, during this time he seemed comfortable and confident. I'm not saying he is going to be the next Deniro or Nicholson, but for a professional athlete he was pretty awesome. There are a lot of professional athletes who try their hand at acting and are just terrible. There are also a lot of professional actors who are just terrible as well. All I'm saying is that based on his role appearance on Law & Order, he did a great job, a lot better than one would expect, and he should definitely consider some more acting in his future. After all, it's pretty clear after seeing him on a hit television show that his potential for awesomeness in the acting field is very high.



Jesse needs a coach for football, but not for being awesome.


Palmer currently works for ESPN as a studio analyst on College Football Live and other various ESPN2 telecasts. He is also a game analyst and commentator on ESPN Thursday Night College Football .In the November 23, 2009 issue of The Sporting News, the writers of this prestigious sports magazine teamed up with writers from SportsBusiness Journal and SportsBusiness Daily to write a feature article ranking the top 25 football announcers in the business. It didn't matter if the announcer commentated on professional or college games. For some odd-known reason, Jesse was not ranked. Talking about being underappreciated for your awesomeness! How often does an analyst/commentator host the two biggest shows of the week on one of the biggest networks not get recognized for his awesomeness? Almost never. This is almost a crime against humanity in my opinion. Even if he doesn't get the recognition in print he deserves, at least he gets it from his employer. After all, ABC has scheduled Jesse to be the studio analyst for their broadcast of the 2010 BCS National Championship Game. Now don't you think for the National Championship game they would hire one of the best in the business? Of course they would, and ABC did, even if The Sporting News chooses to underappreciate Jesse and his awesomeness.



You just know he is in the middle of making an awesome point.


Here's something else to consider when Jesse's awesome analyst skills are discussed. Most analysts are either former all-time great players (i.e. Dan Marino, Terry Bradshaw, Troy Aikman etc.,) or journalism majors (i.e. Curt Menafee, James Brown, Al Michaels etc.,). Jesse was neither. Yet, he has managed to transcend himself into one of the best analysts without the usual required credentials. Why? Cause he's awesome! He knows the game, can relate to the modern-day athlete, understands what the pressure is like playing at a big school, and states his points eloquently and concisely so everyone watching the game can understand what he is trying to say. It's almost like this is what he was born to do considering the fact he is the only below average pro and college athlete to become a successful commentator/analyst. Even guys like Chris Collinsworth and Brian Griese made Pro-Bowls and accomplished more on the field than Jesse ever did. Jesse has such natural talent in front of the camera that he's not just limited to covering sports. He is also the New York correspondent for CTV's entertainment news program, eTalk, covering both sports and entertainment events, including the Super Bowl and the 79th and 80th Academy Awards. Seriously, do I even have to ask how awesome he is? Yes someone like Joe Buck and Jim Nantz may commentate for multiple sports, but how many analysts cover sports and entertainment? I can't name one. Oh wait, yes I can. His name is Jesse Palmer.


If you couldn't tell by any of the pictures displayed in this post, or by anytime you've seen him on television or magazines, Jesse Palmer is a really good-looking guy. He has all of the features that women look for in a man. He's tall, tan, and handsome. He has a great smile, perfect teeth, amazing hair, and bone structure to die for. The last time someone had such great hair, John Stamos was showing it off on Full House. Also, even though he is retired you can tell me from his tightly fitted suits and shirts he wears that he still keeps himself in great shape. He's not just looks either. Since he's been on ESPN he frequently quotes great literary figures showing off his intelligence, and he says such witty jokes, you'd think he could be a stand up comedian. (Side note: We all know Jesse would make an awesome stand up comedian and would put Chris Rock to shame.) His personality literally radiates off from the screen. So it seemed like a perfect match when he was cast as the star of The Bachelor in 2004.



The Hair? The Smile? The Rose? What isn't awesome here?


Mike Fleiss, the executive product of The Bachelor recognized Jesse's stud status when he said, "If you lined up all the greatest bachelors who have ever applied to be on the show, Jesse would definitely be our number one draft pick." He wasn't the only one who was impressed. When Jesse accidentally called the wrong girl's name to keep her on the show, he did the right thing and told her he didn't mean to pick her. However, she was so enamored with Jesse that she decided to stay on the show anyway to see if things could work out between the two of them. If that's not enough, another woman who Jesse voted off, came back to the show a couple of episodes later to get him back and try to make him change his mind! You don't do that for a guy, unless you realize he is one awesome catch. Yet, for some reason he is never mentioned on any list of hottest male celebrities and is constantly off the radar. People Magazine has yet to include him in their annual Sexiest Man Alive issue, and was not named on E!'s Top 50 Hunks show. E! and People's credibility is totally damaged for not giving Jesse Palmer the beefcake status he deserves. I mean look at the guy! This alone might be the most insulting underappreciation of awesomeness ever.


As stated previously, Palmer was not a great quarterback. But he was named The Canadian Player of the Year in 1996 and was the second Canadian (behind Mark Rypien of the Washington Redskins) to start at the quarterback position in the NFL. How awesome is that?!?!? Jesse is also a part of two NFL records. In 2003, Jesse combined with Kerry Collins to throw 616 passes, a franchise single-season record. He also was the recipient of a Bruce Smith sack that made Smith the all-time career NFL sack leader. Those both make great trivia questions for your friends, and it doesn't get much more awesome than being the answer to trivia questions that stump your friends. You maybe wondering why would such questions stump your friends? Because Jesse is awesome, and they probably don't appreciate his awesomeness, like most people in this world. However, a true Jesse Palmer fan, who recognizes the awesome powers he possesses does. The facts don't lie, Jesse Palmer is so awesome that even though he was a below average quarterback he still made NFL history and won an award for the being athlete to represent his country. Jesse accepted those accomplishments with great pride, and we can only assume he accepts the award of being in The Underappreciated Awesome Celebrity Blog the same way. What gives us that assumption? Obviously because he's that mad awesome and can finally feel appreciated for it.

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